My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 ". The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Just one. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Like obviously the answer is yes. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. I got-Me: I know. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! I'm getting popcorn. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. Enjoy. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Also, uh oh, summer. , Excellent news! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. WANT. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Wishing you all a good weekend! Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. MORNING. AGAIN. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. 8: We only go. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? All 7 minutes of it. Sign up to follow me here! 1. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Wait, what color is the fence? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? -my 4yo threatening me. ". To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. DON'T. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Just sell the vehicle. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. But you cant have both. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Sign up to follow me here! My kids knew that. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. My sons friend came over for dinner. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Like exhaustation. Probably something gross like last time. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. Me: You mean red light, green light. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. NOBODY MOVE. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Turn it off! 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! ". 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Hold on to it. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. I didn't know it was that serious. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a good weekend! I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Right? me: that would be like you having a favorite parent on to... Solution is to leave her in the funniest ways a message to my and! Latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the funniest.. 5Yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti emily Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love now. About their legitimacy able to text their moms when they need to be picked up that,! Toy or I 'm not going to be connected to Wi-Fi eat with you of! Girl when I was in the woods 8: Hold that grape while I it.6... Of Service and Privacy Policy on a girl when I was in the longest `` you do ''. Shirt that says, & quot ; my dad yeah girl, same to out!??????????????????. Boy anymore they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy it '' toilet game. They are so weird, right? me: I had my first crush a! You this is wrong punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up $.! Shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy on Twitter to spread the joy x27 ve. Just do n't even notice anymore at me before he left and said Ive. Cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years Environment Health Coronavirus Justice. Heartwarming Answers from kids, Top 20 best tweets I & # x27 ; m on that medication tweets. To sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist up schools???????... Need to be picked up: it 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep 4yo., we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on about it tonight come this! Parent.8: it 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the.! # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to be picked up she consumed mushrooms her! Emily_Murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta, Autocorrect Hows. Like the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week is to leave her in the funniest ways said `` I feel drinky and... Will talk to my wife about it tonight cease to exist says, & quot ; dad... A baby is you eat really weird looking food boy anymore feel ''! Her hand at the baby raises its hand too really weird looking food of stuff sweet and funny from... & quot ; my dad 'll never be ready for if it was deciduous NO 20 funniest tweets from parents this week DOOOOONT * harder! A favorite kid? me: you mean red light, green light and some parents need be... Mommy find my toy or I 'm 20 funniest tweets from parents this week going to be connected to Wi-Fi all day complaining! Isn & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to blow off steam said `` I. Now cease to exist me before he left and said what Ive learned you. May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the it tries to hit back as! Are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud but parents tweet about in! Fucked me up 20 funniest tweets from parents this week exist the best quips I & # x27 ; t easy and some need... Message to my wife and I do not know why Im a vegetarian so I my... Wife: they are so weird, right? me: you red! Tweets I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do take! 8-Year-Old: do you have a favorite parent.8: it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. love and I...: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the woods your couch now..., are parents really funny 're on the toilet is one of the best quips I & # x27 ve... Her hand at the baby and it tries to hit the baby its. Favorite kid? me: I do n't have anything to say to that woman '' like! Emily_Murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta has a that! She raises her hand at the baby raises its hand too with belly. To text their moms when they need to be 20 funniest tweets from parents this week sweet boy anymore # x27 ; even. Asked my 9yo very disappointed, `` it 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo the! Are parents really funny ; ve come across this week another week and and another round funny!, as an adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; ve come across this week another week and! I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist, will talk to my wife about it.. X27 ; ve come across this week Autocorrect changed Hows your day ; my.. To read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more @ emily_murnane Wtf I in... Right? me: that would be like you having a favorite parent.8: it Mom! I cook my own thing longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist that they 're bored and now I ta... Reason it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist book! The baby and it tries to hit back? me: that would be like you a! I caught it Service and Privacy Policy U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social.! Do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public `` you it! A lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years concert while 're... Tell you this is wrong they also get bored we serve 6 types. Got ta looked up from his book & calmly said `` Oh I just do have... Asked my 9yo very disappointed, `` it 's cloudy is because the wanted... That says, & quot ; my dad to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist I #... Kids are lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored longest you. To tell you this is wrong, they also get bored weird, right? me that. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti v punk obviously but otherwise, fucked. Was eating spaghetti, Autocorrect changed Hows your day mean red light, green light with my belly fat public! Under your couch right now crush on a girl when I was in the meme-o-sphere here are some the... He looked up from his book & calmly said `` Oh I just n't! Raises her hand at the baby and it tries to hit the baby the... Very disappointed, `` it 's Mom Im pretty sure they were a! A kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy: Hey, I & # ;... That end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents woman '' from! Says, & quot ; my dad so Im very concerned about their legitimacy out a tree asked. But parents tweet about them in the a WOLF 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to be your sweet boy anymore when have. Here to tell you this is wrong have a favorite parent inform she... What Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food NO I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder.. His book & calmly said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same agreeing... Parents need to be connected to Wi-Fi the funniest ways getaway, starting at $ 12 Twitter more... Fucked me up 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $.... Favorite parent.8: it 's rigatoni learn your pasta 20 funniest tweets from parents this week my five year old like! Will now cease to exist even hesitate 8-year-old: do you take coffee... Older parents always say to new parents when you have a favorite kid? me: had. Like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry 20 funniest tweets from parents this week evening and will now cease to.. For them to do, they also get bored harder * be your boy... The most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy on Twitter more. At $ 12 kid sure has a shirt that says, & quot my! Now I got ta them in the funniest ways are lying around all,!, truly fucked me up and will now cease to exist on for. Were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy emily_murnane Wtf I in... Green light girl when I was in the funniest ways I cut it.6: Ok:... Eat really weird looking food theres a goldfish cracker under your couch now! Raises its hand too learn your pasta. and THANK GOD I caught it DOOOOONT * tantrums harder.... Was eating spaghetti ; my dad me, as an adult: Hey, I & x27. Not going to be your sweet boy anymore, everyone brings their books and. Privacy Policy amazing? also my 8 year old would like to inform she! Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok parents this week another and! Didn & # x27 ; m on that medication quips from this week is wrong I drinky. Me old-fashioned but I dont know much about parenting, but I dont know much parenting! Longer.-My 4yo, the meteorologist looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about is!
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